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Carina T: Struggles, Battles & Willpower

02/23/22
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Hello everyone, my name is Carina and I am 31 years old.

I was born and raised in the Rockaways. I didn't grow up with much money and we didn't live in the best area. However, my mother who immigrated here from Guatemala did her best to provide me and my 4 siblings with everything we needed. She worked day and night, weekends and holidays just to make sure none of us ever wanted for anything. More than anything I want to say thank you to her, my hero. Gracias mama, por todo que tu has sacrificado para nosotros. Sin ti, yo no seria la persona que yo soy hoy.

As for my journey to tech, I’ve always loved computers but becoming a software engineer was never something I had considered. As a child, I remember spending time with my dad taking my computer apart and fixing it when something went wrong.

He was always into the newest phones, computers, taking them apart and fixing them, and through him, I learned to love it as well. So I’d also like to say thank you to my father, thank you for the love of technology you started within me that I now get to make into my career. Te quiero mucho papa. And thank you for supporting me through my time at Pursuit and all the other choices I’ve made in life.

My professional and academic journey took lots of twists and turns. I remember being a great student when I was in Elementary school. As I got older, things changed though. I ended up dropping out of school and earning my GED when I was 16. I pursued Culinary Arts for a while, then I tried Cosmetology and loved it, but in the end that wasn’t for me either. After all this searching, I decided to just get a job. I ended up as a stock person at a boutique and I did really well there. During my time I was promoted to a cashier, a stock manager, and an overall manager. But while I was doing okay, I could never shake the feeling that I was stuck. Where could I go from here and how could I continue to grow?

"During my time I was promoted to a cashier, a stock manager, and an overall manager. But while I was doing okay, I could never shake the feeling that I was stuck. Where could I go from here and how could I continue to grow?"
-Carina Taveras talking on her aspirations for a longterm career

That’s when my best friend Leigh told me about Pursuit, which she went through herself. All I remember is that she basically disappeared for a while and when she reemerged she had so much new knowledge and a new job at Uber. I then decided to attend an info session about Pursuit and applied for the Fellowship.

This is where my story differs from most. I have attended Pursuit, not once but twice. I was originally in 5.0 and Corey was my instructor. Corey, thank you for being such a bright light in our classroom, and thank you for teaching me to be confident in what I know. I remember one time we were debugging a problem I couldn’t solve and I was ready to give up. I wrote some code down, erased it and you said I should just try it. I did, and it worked. It was the first time I felt like I actually knew what I was doing and it taught me a very important lesson; be confident in my code. And that’s still something I carry around with me today.

I wish I could tell you I then pushed through Pursuit and finished and I was able to get a job, but I didn’t. During my time with 5.0 I was struggling a lot with my mental health which made it difficult for me to grasp what we were doing. I fell behind and that would just continue to take a toll on my already fragile mental health.

In the background, I was dealing with a lot of personal issues, and eventually, I began to use alcohol as a way to cope.

There were days I could not get out of bed. I wouldn’t leave my apartment for weeks. When I tell you I felt like my life had hit rock bottom, I am not exaggerating. When covid picked up, I was severely depressed and my drinking was out of hand.

It wasn’t until lockdown began that I attempted to get better. I stopped drinking and got the help I needed. And it was not easy. Possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever done. During this time, I learned the most important life lesson to date.

Your mental health is everything. With a lot of work, tears, therapy sessions, friends, and of course my partner Marvin, I was able to pull myself out of that hole I had fallen into so long ago. And when I did I decided there was one last thing I wanted. And that was to give Pursuit and my career the chance it deserved.

I reached out to Tali (who has been one of the sweetest people I’ve met at Pursuit by the way) and I asked if I could try again. And they let me. I did it again, this time sober, with a much better perspective and my mental health being the best it’s been since I was a teenager.

And here I am, a little over a year later. I landed my first job as a software engineer at one of the largest home improvement retailers in the U.S. at 31 when at 29 I was so incredibly lost.

I would just like to give some advice to anyone who may ever feel like I felt then. Like nothing good in life is attainable, like things will never get better. Like you are broken. Don’t give up. Reach out to those you love, don't be afraid to seek out professional help, write down your feelings, and focus on your mental health.

I actually love what I do now. Sometimes that's all it takes to help you get on track. I know it’s hard, trust me. But if I can do it, so can you. I can say I am incredibly excited about my role and so far—it has been the most fulfilling job I’ve ever had. I don’t dread starting work every day, and I feel like what I was looking for in a career is here in what I have found now.

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